Men’s health is often overlooked and Royale Express Podcast is honoured to explore that topic with Indvodza Ayikhali hitmaker, Ketrus.
We need to have an open dialogue with men and unveil the topic of vulnerability and how it affects their mental health. Men often face difficult situations in silence. Sometimes the pressure of being a provider and societal norms. Ketrus having grew up in Swaziland without a father, knows the impact of growing up with no father figure.
Ketrus took us on a journey of understanding the African proverb that “men do not cry”. His song Indvodza Ayikhali was his way of rectifying the century old myth that a man does not cry. “Cry alone or with someone you can trust. Some may help some may not but you have to break in order to be built. Just like a tree loses its branches in winter and grows them again in summer, we humans are like that. Women are not the only ones with emotions or who go through its ups and downs. Do not be embarrassed to feel pain.” He said.
An article in Mentalhealth.net highlights the factors that lead to mental health issues for men. Sexism, trauma, traditional gender roles, child abuse/family issues, loss of work, poor working conditions or a high workload, childhood abuse/family issues, loss of work, separation and divorce and financial issues. “Since birth, men are typically taught to be strong, to become leaders and that emotions are a sign of weakness, not masculinity. (2022: Mental health).”
The overall health and well-being of a person relies on their mental well-being. Grassroots are also important. We have to identify the underlying causes of men who lack the ability to live a prosperous life.
Ketrus also spoke about how young boys young boys are marginalised in schools. “In their early stage of life, one thing I’ve noticed is that the focus more on young girls at schools which is a good thing, providing them with sanitary necessities but we neglect the boy child. Some boys are not given advice and attention until they fall introducing drugs at high school. There is a lot that happens in the mind of a boy. Sometimes they seek attention. Especially the ones who do not have a father figure at home. They should have a community of men to talk to.” He explained.
According to Mentalhealth.net substance abuse plays a role in men committing suicide. “Men may be more likely to use drugs or alcohol as a means of coping with mental health issues, though such ‘self-medication’ can make things worse in the long run.”
Identifying that there is a need to speak out is something that has inspired many people to focus on an open dialogue in their relationships, especially when it involves young men. Ketrus also has plans of being his brothers keeper, something that young boys are growing up. What are his plans for these young boys in future? “I would like to work with organisations that support my community such as Love Life, Soul Buddies. I’m planning on going on a tour in primary schools and to educate and strengthen them. I want to teach them that everyone is special.” Ketrus said.
Being vulnerable will allow others into your space and get you the relief you need. Sometimes men find it difficult to be vulnerable. It also has a negative impact on their relationships and communication is strained. According to an article published on the Caps educational website, being vulnerable shouldn’t be viewed as weakness. “Vulnerability is actually a strength. In order to be a strong and healthy individual, vulnerability must take place with the people that you have built trust with. In doing so, one strengthens relationships, improves mental health, and improves quality of life. Being vulnerable also takes away the pressure that you have to do this on your own. A study has shown that being able to voice your feelings actually helps to decrease the impact of one’s emotions and overcome them faster. Therefore, being vulnerable with someone creates the opportunity to put words to feelings and to process them.”
The reason why vulnerability is difficult is because there is a gear of being judged or misunderstood. According to an article published on the Mark Manson website, our ideas might scare us so we don’t voice them out. “It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that might not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, joining a table of people you don’t know, telling someone you’re attracted to them.”
With all that said, Ketrus does have a point on starting conversations with young men at an early age. This will help them and teach them about vulnerability. Ketrus continues to teach and heal through his music. He also draws strength from his fans to create more inspirational songs. “My music has a message seeing people with testimonials and praises of how my music has helped, that gives me the assurance that music is doing the most. People are healed.” He said.
Article by Phindile Nqumako
Reference:
Mentalhelp.net. https://www.mentalhelp.net/men/ accessed 01 July 2022.
2. Caps Umich .https://caps.umich.edu/article/men-and-vulnerability Accessed 11July 2022.
3. Mark Manson. “Vulnerability: The Key to Better Relationships” https://markmanson.net/vulnerability-in-relationships/amp. Accessed 11 July 2022.
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